Gettting down to it

I've begun recording.

The songs for the "Mockingbird" album just, yes, came all at once...out of the blue.

So i've started recording them here in our closet. I'm calling it the "Cloffio" (Closet, Office, Studio)

And it seems I've kinda forgotten how hard it is to record into one microphone with a not-so-great program on a kinda old computer. this however is the story of my life, along with lots of other people who try to be honest with themselves. we are surrounded with things, people, ideas, and passions that are often broken. but that seems to be where real art, in life and in creativity, take place. in this place where to get it right you have to repeat yourself over and over over; editing out more and more of what you thought was good stuff to pare down your life, your art, and your expression to get down to the bare, clean minimum. and this is a hard process. this process kinda sucks really.

To get to that perfect EQ on a vocal or guitar, or that perfect rhyming line, or that place of balance in life is a journey that must be undertaken with a determination to see it through to the end. ive found myself just wanting to do anything but record and write. i don't want to hear that song again for the 1200th time today. i don't think i have the ability to really get it sounding right. i don't think its going to ever sound a good as it did in my head that first pure time i played it.

but what is the consequence if i give up? i will have nothing to show for my time spent holed up in a closet, or out living my life, or writing at my desk. and that seems to me to be a terrible place to live. i will live a life of "what-ifs?" and 'Why didnt I?"

and I dont think I could really bear that. So I keep going. It's not that we keep going on into some perfect future we can see though. I have no idea exactly what these songs will sound like when I reach that moment when it clicks. I have no idea when my life will suddenly feel "right". I just keep going because I don't want to live a life void of created things. I want to make and fill the space around me. so i keep going until it just fits. until I can say "there is nothing left".